It’s an Orgy of Baking

All the Sugar Cookies
(I can’t decide if ‘orgy’ is supposed to be capitalized or not. It looks kinda funny that way…maybe it’s just that I don’t use that word often enough.)

It’s that time of year again.

The table is cleared and the kitchen is clean.

Recipes are brought out, picked through, and a lucky few chosen.

Around $150 in baking supplies and gift containers are stacked up against a wall.

My updated Kitchen playlist is scaring the cats and probably also disturbing the neighbors.

And for once, I was actually able to schedule four days in a row off from work so I can do all my Christmas and holiday baking early this year. I’m so excited about this that I’m sitting at my cleared table, in my nice clean kitchen, writing all about it before the baking actually begins.

Normally, I’m baking on my weekends and after work, frantically picking through my list of cookies and candies to see which can be quickly doubled or completely dropped from the list because I’m already out of time. It’s always so stressful that I not only don’t get to enjoy the baking part–but I don’t have time to enjoy delivering the treats either. Steve may argue that the point of all this is to thank people and businesses, but to me it’s really all about feeding people and making them happy, even if it’s just a momentary happiness.

This year I plan on enjoying myself.

The tentative list for baking is:

  1. Dark Chocolate Covered Coconut Balls
  2. Divinity
  3. Sugar Cookies
  4. Gingerbread cookies
  5. Raspberry Almond Cookies
  6. Mango Chai Almond Bark
  7. Chocolate Spritz Cookies
  8. Cherry Pecan Cookies
  9. Sugar & Spice Coffee Slices
  10. Raspberry Fudge Brownies
  11. Citrus Glazed Lemon Spritz Cookies

It’s tentative because I padded it just enough that I can remove one or two items if things get behind, and they’re items that don’t require any special ingredients to purchase either.

The first two I make every year because it’s something my grandmother used to do at Christmas until I took over for her. I’ve modified the coconut ball recipe, but the divinity is exactly the same. One of my coworker’s calls it “Shiny Ferret Sugar Crack” because of how wired she gets when I bring divinity to work. The next three cookies are things that have become a holiday tradition for Steve and I (two of them are recipes from the resort where I did my externship). Hopefully the Mango Chai Bark will be an improvement over the nasty Apricot Chai Almond Bark from last year. It had a lot of potential, but crashed and burned once I added the apricots. Everything below that is new. We’ll see which ones are good enough to keep on the list for next year.

Now it’s time to stop writing and start baking.  Woo hoo!

Signs that you should start thinking about finding a new job…

The prep cook starts yelling that "You're not a baker, and you need to get that shit out of your head right now!", during your second week of work after the boss leaves for the day.  This is after you were hired as a baker.

The person in charge of expanding the baking side of the business quits a month after you were hired because of "issues with the owner"… and the expansion was why you were hired in the first place.

Instead of baking, you do more and more cooking–both prep and line–because the prep cook keeps screaming and yelling at the other new-hires after everyone leaves for the day, and so they keep quitting.

The health insurance that was supposed to be comparable to the previous job's insurance is instead three times the rate… for one person… with fewer actual benefits.

After multiple screw-ups due to bad math, the head cooks tells the prep cook that he has to take any recipe calculations to you to double-check.  Yes, this is the prep cook who already hates your guts, and now he has a new reason to be pissed.  So in retaliation, he sabotages your bread.

The sabotage job is so poorly done that you boss picks up on it before you notice.  The bad part is that she tries to downplay it so you won't quit because she's not allowed to fire him.

The owner knows about it, but all he says is "don't do it again."

It happens again.

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