Daily Culinary Quote: Cold Revenge on this National Gazpacho Day

To celebrate National Gazpacho Day, I’m posting one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite shows: The Venture Brothers.

The Phantom Limb: “Revenge, like gazpacho soup, is best served cold, precise, and merciless.”

The Monarch: “Yeah, yeah, you can never have enough precision in your soup.”


Yes, today is actually National Gazpacho Day, although I can’t locate enough information on it to confirm that it’s a real thing. For now I’m assuming it was set up through this group or something similar.

It’s also National Microwave Oven Day, National Pawnbrokers Day, National “Cook for Christmas” Day, National Miner’s Day*, St. Nicholas Day†, and Finland’s Independence Day‡.


*  National Miner’s Day is a real thing. It was established in 2009 by Congress to mark the anniversary of the worst mining accident in American history in Monogah, West Virgina in 1907, resulting in the deaths of 361 miners.

St. Nicholas Day is a real thing too, but I probably didn’t need to point that out. Anyway, here’s hoping Ben and Pen enjoyed their first Sinterklaasavond in Amsterdam last night.

‡ Finland’s Independence Day is a celebration of Finland’s declaration of independence from Russia in 1917 (and it’s also real…why would I make this stuff up?).

Quote Source:
“Showdown at Cremation Creek: Part 1”. The Venture Brothers, written by Doc Hammer and Christopher McCulloch (as Jackson Publick), Adult Swim, 8 October 2006

A Random Email Conversation

Snarky: This makes me wish I could sew.  http://www.evilmadscientist.com/article.php/d12bag

Caducia: I can sew.  Let me know if you would like for me to make you one.  I also think I've seen similar dice-shaped bags for sale at GenCon. 

     (See, so far we're normal people.)

Hoose: That's so awesome, I'd turn in my Man Card to carry one.  Well, almost…

     (Still kinda normal)

Caducia: Wait… There's a MAN CARD???
Why didn't anyone tell me about this?  I need to get myself a fake ID for those times when I want people to take me seriously. 
Or when I want to make more money.
Or when I want to rule the world.

SnarkyYou'd better be joking about wanting to rule the world as a man.  Lately I've had leanings in that direction, but if I ever do decide to go on a world-dominating rampage with my evil army of genetically modified giant pumas, I'll do it as a female.

Mad science may be strong enough for a man, but it was made for a woman.

CaduciaGenetically modified giant pumas???
Oh, I would definitely take over the world as a woman.  But if the fake ID can get me in the door, I'm not above using it.

Snarky: Yes, is there something wrong with genetically modified giant pumas?  Do you have a better idea?

CaduciaI think I'll develop an army consisting of extremely effeminate gay men. 
Rank would be determined by the color of your boa. And we would invade countries with the intent of spreading the principles of FABULOUSNESS!
We would be happy to form an alliance with your genetically modified giant puma army.

HooseI prefer ACME® brand Super Koalas in my word domination plans. Accept no substitutes!

Snarky: Maybe, but I've seen what can happen with Super Koalas.  Didn't you study Ambush Bug vs. the Koala who walked like a Man? Those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.  Believe me when I say that you don't want to repeat that…

Hoose: You're both starting to sound like Venture Brothers arch-enemies….

     (And normal goes right out the window.)

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