Before I begin, I just want everyone to know that I am ALMOST sick of candy corn now. Not quite sick enough to give away my stash of the winning brand, but enough to unload the 9 remaining bags on my coworkers.
I reviewed a combination of flavored candy corn (flavors other than the regular one everyone is familiar with), and the normal everyday variety of candy corn but from different manufacturers. They are not reviewed in any particular order.
- Gummy Candy Corn (Target Gourmet brand): I don’t know why I bothered since it’s not really candy corn, but I was curious to see what it tasted like. Not good. It was sort of sour and not much of a candy corn flavor. It’s better than eating a gummy eyeball, but not by much.
- Pumpkin Pie Candy Corn (Target Gourmet brand): Most of the Target Gourmet candy corn had a softer texture than the regular stuff. It tasted less like pumpkin pie and more like candy corn with cinnamon and all the other standard pumpkin pie spices. I didn’t care for it at all, but some of my coworkers have been contentedly munching on it. Unlike the other flavors of this brand – it left an odd coating on the tongue.
- S’mores Candy Corn (Target Gourmet brand): Once the bag was opened, all I could smell was brown sugar with a hell of a lot of molasses. The first blast of flavor was ass gas… sweet, sweet ass gas. The second wasn’t as bad, but I didn’t try for a third.
4. Chocolate Covered Green Apple Candy Corn (Target Gourmet brand): The bag had a combination of the Green Apple candy corn without chocolate, and some completely coated in chocolate. The plain candy tasted like the combination of a green apple Jolly Ranchers and candy corn. The chocolate covered version was pretty darn good. The bag currently resides in a desk drawer where I can sneak it out without having to share with my coworkers.
5. Blood Orange Candy Corn (Target Gourmet brand): Sadly it didn’t taste anything like a blood orange. It was everyday fake-orange flavored candy. Okay for mixing with regular candy corn, but not great on its own.
6. Strawberry Cotton Candy Candy Corn (Target Gourmet brand): It actually tasted like cotton candy. Sadly, that only came out at the end after almost being overpowered by the mandatory artificial flavor that everyone uses when you want candy to taste like strawberries. It was also way too sweet, but then again so is cotton candy, so I’m not sure if that’s good or bad here. After trying this one – I’d like to see a regular cotton candy candy corn without the strawberry.
7. Hill Country Fare Candy Corn: Hill Country Fare is the low end house brand at the HEB grocery stores in central Texas (mid range is HEB Brand, and high end is Central Market). Do not purchase this candy corn. Please, please do not even think about purchasing this unless you hate the person you’re giving it to. It was remaniscient of plastic and cardboard soaked in bug spray. I threw this one away because I don’t hate anyone that much.
8. Brach’s Candy Corn (made with real honey): It took two bags of Brach’s Candy Corn to get this review written. The first bag was emptied before the review actually started, and the second kept me going in between some of the nastier entries. Tonight a friend introduced me to the best way to eat Brach’s candy corn – add a can of salted cashews to the bowl/bag and eat both at the same time. I will now need a third bag to make sure that I wasn’t imagining it’s salty-sweet goodness.
9. Market Pantry Candy Corn (Target house brand sold in bulk): This candy is 2/3’s the size of Brach’s, and the flavor was only about half as much. It was sorta like eating a wax copy of candy corn.
10. Lammes Candies Candy Corn: These looked exactly like the Market Pantry Candy Corn (and were the same size), but they tasted much better. Not quite as good as Brach’s, but close.
11. Brach’s Milk Maid Caramel Candy Corn: It tastes like cheap caramel candy. I assume they’re supposed to taste like Brach’s Milk Maid candy, but in this case, that’s not a good thing.
12. Brach’s Indian Corn: This tastes like candy corn with a little caramel and chocolate added. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I guess I could try a few more.