Call Center Roundup for 2009

This is the time of year where Snarkyboy gets to relax now that most of the large businesses and schools that use his department have either shut down or have minimal staffing levels for the holidays.  My department, on the other hand, has gotten out of control and we’re now entering our mandatory overtime holiday cycle. Because of the holidays, we seem to be getting all billing issues instead of software.

How does my day go?  I’ve averaging 6 to 8 calls an hour with 7 seconds between calls.  Most of the customers are upset about something, which makes sense since no one ever calls support when everything’s working wonderfully.

Here are some of my more interesting calls this year:

  • Customer called in because we charged her twice.  She couldn’t remember what it was we charged her twice for.  That’s not unusual, but she was also drunk–and making the call while loudly using the toilet.
  • I was told our software was sucking up all the information out of the customer’s computer and then we were selling it to everyone in our stores.
  • One customer wanted assistance pirating my company’s content. (Me: “You realize that’s illegal?”  Him: “You still have to help me, that’s your job!”)
  • Customer calls up, pissed and yelling because our system won’t accept her credit card so she can purchase our content.  After listening to a long tirade about how horrible we were to a working mother, I agreed to have her bring her bank on the the line so we could try to clear it up. They told her – while conferenced in with me – that her account was overdrawn and she’d have to fix that first before they would release funds.  There was a few seconds of silence before the line was disconnected.  This happens on a regular basis, but I still enjoy that stunned silence. 
  • Customer wanted to use her new gift card to purchase computer accessories, but she kept getting an invalid code error.  I discovered the customer was trying to use her Walmart gift card on our online store.  She wasn’t happy that she could only use it with Walmart.  Two days later it was someone with a Best Buy gift card trying to do the same thing.
  • Customer calls to find out why we are billing him monthly for software, something we never do.  Turns out his son joined a video chat service… an adult video chat service.  I never did find out how old his son was.

The most entertaining thing happened a few weeks ago, away from work.  I ran into my old boss at the bakery and she asked if I was interested in coming back.  I had to explain, while trying to hold in my laughter, that I dealt with a lot less abuse working in a call center than I did in a grocery store bakery.